“Do you want to be transformed by me?”
You ask, already knowing the answer.
My heart leaps and shouts, “yes!,”
But, sadly, my reasonable mind begins to whirl.
“What would I have to change about myself?
Would I lose myself – my personality – completely –
Be someone I’m really not and regret it?
Would I have to stop having fun or being lighthearted?”
You smile. You knew this would happen.
“Do not be afraid,” you reassure me,
And I know in an instant I am a fool
For fearing that which I’ve been thirsting after.
“You will have to change for sure,
And it will be difficult and challenging,
But you will not be losing your personality,
Rather becoming closer to who you really are.
You were created to share love, joy and laughter,
To be with others in happiness and sorrow,
To give certain gifts to the world,
and to see the gifts others have been given.
And I am working in and through you,
In order to bless creation and work good in the world,
Though sometimes it may be hard for you to see,
Or nearly inconceivable for you to believe.
But do not be afraid, beloved child of mine,
Be gentle and see yourself as I see you.
I am here and if you want to be transformed,
Know that it will happen, but not overnight.
I will work through the simplest of things –
In silence, in the words and faces of others,
In music and art, in prayer and in nature,
In struggles and celebrations, sadness and hope.
To see what I am about, keep your heart open.
Listen to that still small voice that tugs,
Quietly and persistently at your innermost being,
Even though the world would try to drown it out.
Revel in the ways in which I will surprise you,
And share with others what you have experienced
So that you might hear what I’m doing in them.
Trust one another and trust me.”
You smile and stand there patiently,
Not rushing or hurrying me to an answer.
My heart aches and I know that all you say is true.
I open my mouth to speak, slowly uttering:
“I just don’t know how to let go.
All I can do right now is sit with you.”
Your smile broadens – I almost cannot believe it.
“Yes, dear one, that is more than enough.”
© 2011. Annabelle Peake. All rights reserved.