Transformative Moments

Into The Light

“Do you want to be transformed by me?”
You ask, already knowing the answer.
My heart leaps and shouts, “yes!,”
But, sadly, my reasonable mind begins to whirl.

“What would I have to change about myself?
Would I lose myself – my personality – completely -
Be someone I’m really not and regret it?
Would I have to stop having fun or being lighthearted?”

You smile. You knew this would happen.
“Do not be afraid,” you reassure me,
And I know in an instant I am a fool
For fearing that which I’ve been thirsting after.

“You will have to change for sure,
And it will be difficult and challenging,
But you will not be losing your personality,
Rather becoming closer to who you really are.

You were created to share love, joy and laughter,
To be with others in happiness and sorrow,
To give certain gifts to the world,
and to see the gifts others have been given.

And I am working in and through you,
In order to bless creation and work good in the world,
Though sometimes it may be hard for you to see,
Or nearly inconceivable for you to believe.

But do not be afraid, beloved child of mine,
Be gentle and see yourself as I see you.
I am here and if you want to be transformed,
Know that it will happen, but not overnight.

I will work through the simplest of things -
In silence, in the words and faces of others,
In music and art, in prayer and in nature,
In struggles and celebrations, sadness and hope.

To see what I am about, keep your heart open.
Listen to that still small voice that tugs,
Quietly and persistently at your innermost being,
Even though the world would try to drown it out.

Revel in the ways in which I will surprise you,
And share with others what you have experienced
So that you might hear what I’m doing in them.
Trust one another and trust me.”

You smile and stand there patiently,
Not rushing or hurrying me to an answer.
My heart aches and I know that all you say is true.
I open my mouth to speak, slowly uttering:

“I just don’t know how to let go.
All I can do right now is sit with you.”
Your smile broadens – I almost cannot believe it.
“Yes, dear one, that is more than enough.”

© 2011. Annabelle Peake. All rights reserved.

In The Midst

In the midst of despair,
you are there.
In the midst of suffering,
you are there.
In the midst of pain,
you are there.
In the midst of confusion,
you are there.
In the midst of grief,
you are there.
In the midst of frustration,
you are there.
In the midst of anger,
you are there.
In the midst of sinfulness,
you are there.
In the midst of doubt,
you are there.
In the midst of brokenness,
you are there.
In the midst of sorrow,
you are there.
In the midst of sickness,
you are there.
In the midst of hate,
you are there
In the midst of disbelief,
you are there.
In the midst of injustice,
you are there.
In the midst of weeping,
you are there.
In the midst of night,
you are there.
In the midst of death,
you are there.

In the midst of hope,
you are there.
In the midst of celebration,
you are there.
In the midst of pleasure,
you are there.
In the midst of clarity,
you are there.
In the midst of happiness,
you are there.
In the midst of satisfaction,
you are there.
In the midst of peace,
you are there.
In the midst of righteousness,
you are there.
In the midst of trust,
you are there.
In the midst of wholeness,
you are there.
In the midst of joy,
you are there.
In the midst of health,
you are there.
In the midst of love,
you are there.
In the midst of faith,
you are there.
In the midst of justice,
you are there.
In the midst of laughter,
you are there.
In the midst of day,
you are there.
In the midst of life,
you are there.

Wherever we are, you are there with us.

© 2010. Annabelle Peake. All rights reserved.

The Importance of Playing

Two weekends ago, I saw Toy Story 3 with my fiancé and my youngest brother. This was after a wonderful day spent playing soccer (football to the rest of the world!) and hanging out. When I paused to think, I found myself feeling like I was re-living my middle and high school days. You see, most of that time in my life was spent playing soccer and helping to coach my brothers’ soccer teams. In addition, Toy Story and Toy Story 2 were movies we all watched a lot. I think we may have even had most of them memorized!

In any case, I started to reflect on how busy life has become now that I’ve “grown up” and how marvelous it was to let loose and play. Life is full of to-do lists and responsibilities, and can feel quite overwhelming and hectic, but what if we made time for having fun like we made time for responsibilities? What if our to-do lists included built-in relaxation and play time?

I wish my to-do list looked like this!

And what if we totally let go and just enjoyed ourselves, forgetting other people were watching?:

Stress is known to cause physical ailments and even to shorten lifespans, but play, relaxation and laughter reduce stress. In seminary and CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education), we talk about self-care frequently – how to keep the various aspects of our lives (physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual, relational, etc.) in balance so that we do not burn out. In the ELCA, we have the “Wholeness Wheel” to keep us on track. While juggling these components may seem intimidating, being mindful of each of them and trying to be attentive to each area even if only for 10-15 minutes a day can help us pay attention to the whole picture.

I love to keep busy and be productive, but as I go through life, I’m realizing how important it is to play and to carve out time to have fun. It refreshes the soul and renews the spirit. It re-energizes us and fills us with joy so we can go out and do our work to the best of our ability. If we don’t take time to enjoy life, we become run down and are ultimately less effective. Having fun plans also gives us something to look forward to when we feel trapped in the mundane routines of life.

In short, it’s beneficial to spend time as we did when we were children: playing So in the words of Woody from Toy Story, “So play nice!” Oh, and go see Toy Story 3 – it’s awesome!

© 2010. Annabelle Peake. All rights reserved.

Count Your Blessings

On Friday, in CPE, I was blessed to be able to attend a Bible Study on Isaiah 6 (The Call of Isaiah) at a retirement home. Before we began, we sang a few hymns, one of which was “Count Your Blessings.” Inspired, the leader then had the participants shout out the things for which they were thankful. Here’s what they listed: health, the love of the Lord Jesus, family and friends, the nurses and staff, ministers (and those about to be ministers), their rooms, laughter…

The list could have gone on and on, I’m sure. I said I was thankful for the chance to meet new people and I definitely felt even more thankful for this after I actually had some time to spend with the people there!

I was amazed that people listed the little things – the things we so often take for granted. I mean, I can’t even think of the last time I gave thanks for my room! That’s probably because it’s a mess… Seriously though, I was reminded of how important it is not to take things for granted.

Instead of being thankful for all that we have been given, why are we more likely to complain about all of the little things that, in the long run, don’t matter? Why do I get bent out of shape when someone is driving poorly when I could be giving thanks that I am able to drive? Why do I get irritated when things don’t go my way instead of thinking how incredibly blessed I have been in my life?

Each night before I go to sleep, I count my blessings. It’s a practice I’ve gotten into over the past year and a half or so. I give thanks for beautiful weather, for loved ones, for experiences I’ve had, and for things I’m looking forward to. Even if I’ve had a terrible day, I can still give thanks that it’s over and tomorrow is a new day!

I’m truly grateful for the folks who reminded me that we should be continually counting our blessings. Now, this doesn’t mean that we should ignore or gloss over difficulties we’re going through or problems we’re struggling with. It does, however, mean that we can gain some perspective in the midst of trials. We can see the good in the middle of difficult times and find hope and strength to keep chugging along. By counting our blessings, we can, as the hymn says, “see what God has done” and recall how God acted previously in our lives. This reminder of how God has worked in our lives is a comfort because we then know God’s track record and can deduce that God is still working and will not abandon us, no matter how difficult things seem.

I’ve never been a big math person, but I think counting my blessings is one math skill I will be happy to incorporate into my life!

Oh, and this just landed in my inbox…
For Everyday Blessings
Dear God,
Open my eyes to the beauty of this day.
The yellow of an egg yolk in a blue bowl.
The scent of bacon frying in the pan.
The soft caress of the morning breeze.
The sound of children at play.
Awaken my senses.
Let me see, hear, and feel the beauty around me.
And be aware of the presence of the Great Artist in my everyday world.
Source: “Prayers for Every Need: Volume One: Celebration” (Guideposts)

Coincidence? I think not!

© 2010. Annabelle Peake. All rights reserved.

Bing Crosby singing “Count Your Blessings (Instead of Sheep)”:

“Laughing With”

I just heard Regina Spektor’s song “Laughing With” while listening to Pandora and, immediately, I had to find the lyrics and listen to it again on YouTube.

The lyrics are:
No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one´s laughing at God when they´re starving or freezing or so very poor

No one laughs at God when the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one´s laughing at God when it´s gotten real late
And their kid´s not back from the party yet
No one laughs at God when their airplane starts to uncontrollably shake
No one´s laughing at God when they see the one they love
Hand in hand with someone else and they hope they´re mistaken

No one laughs at God when the cops knock on their door
And they say we got some bad news sir
No one´s laughing at God when there´s a famine fire or flood

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God-themed joke
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they´re ´bout to choke

God can be funny
When told he´ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious
Ha ha
Ha ha

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one´s laughing at God when they´ve lost all they´ve got
And they don´t know what for

No one laughs at God on the day they realize that the last sight they´ll ever see
Is a pair of hateful eyes
No one´s laughing at God when they´re saying their goodbyes

But God can be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God-themed joke
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they´re ´bout to choke

God can be funny
When told he´ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one laughing at God in a hospital
No one´s laughing at God in a war

No one´s laughing at God when they´re starving or freezing or so very poor

No one´s laughing at God
No one´s laughing at God
No one´s laughing at God
No one´s laughing at God
We´re all laughing with God

I find the whole song intriguing. Sadly, it’s so easy to laugh at God or a “God-themed” joke when with friends. We don’t think it’s that funny though when tragedy strikes. But what intrigues me is what is in the refrain. It almost seems as if Regina Spektor is saying that we’re not laughing at the real, living God – we’re giving God attributes (like a genie or magician) that are not truly in line with the character of God.

God never promised life would be easy, but He is with us each step of the way, including when things are most difficult. Maybe that’s why we can’t/don’t laugh at God when tragedy befalls us, fear grips us and shadows seem to follow us. When those things happen and we’ve nowhere to turn, we’re close to God.

When we’re laughing at the silliness of false ideas about God (genie, magician, Jiminy Cricket, Santa Claus, or that He doesn’t love us), maybe that’s when we’re “laughing with God.” I’d like to think that God has a fantastic sense of humor. Maybe hearing such silly things makes Him laugh just as much as we do.

There doesn’t seem to be a lot of consensus about what this song really means, but maybe it’s just meant to make us think. I know it’s made me think! Well done, Regina!

Here’s the video: