The Beat

I would love to write a song for You,
a hymn of praise and
a shout of joy.

But I cannot seem to find the right words
to express to You exactly
how I’m feeling.

So search my heart, O Lord, and
listen to its steady beat -
thump, thump, thump.

It’s a familiar tune You composed long ago,
but it’s what keeps me
alive in Your grace.

And when it’s overflowing with thanks,
joy, love, and beating for You,
You’ll know exactly…

…what I’m trying to say.

© 2012. Annabelle Peake Markey. All rights reserved.

Disciple (I)

Disciple (\di-ˈsī-pəl\)

Broken and wounded
Bathed in lavish grace
Stumbling down the road
Following after the One
Who is broken and wounded
Lavishly bestowing grace
For our sake.

© 2012. Annabelle Peake Markey. All rights reserved.

Finding Jesus

In the award-winning film, Forrest Gump, Lt. Dan asks Forrest, “Have you found Jesus yet, Gump?”  Forrest answers in one of my favorite lines, “I didn’t know I was supposed to be looking for him, sir.”

So often we hear people ask if others have “found Jesus” as if he were playing “hide-and-go-seek!”  Now, we know what they mean when they ask.  They mean “are you in a relationship with Jesus?” or “have you come to know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior?”  This is all familiar language, but I think it is contrary to God’s grace because it places a lot of emphasis on our efforts.

As Mark Allan Powell explains:

“People say that this Jesus is found in the Bible and in the church. So many say it that I think it must be true, but for me the experience has not been one of finding him anywhere. For me, Bible and church, liturgy an creed, word and sacrament, have not served to facilitate a human quest through which we might recover Jesus and restore history. Rather, they have served to disclose a divine quest through which Jesus himself redeems history and recovers humanity. In short, I never once have felt as though I were finding Jesus in any of this, but I frequently feel as though I am being found. I think of the story that way: not as the place where I look for Jesus but as the place where he finds me.” (Jesus as a Figure in History: How Modern Historians View the Man from Galilee, page 9)

We do not find Jesus then, rather Jesus finds us.  He comes to us and meets us where we are – in the middle of the craziness we know as life.  He comes to us in the quiet times when we have moments to catch our breath and he comes to us when our hearts are breaking and the world seems to be caving in around us.  He welcomes us as we are – broken, sinful, worn out, wounded – you name it! He welcomes us and says “I am with you.”  He does this over and over, even when we can’t seem to understand or accept it.  His welcome and embrace always stand ready to receive us.

It’s not a matter of tracking Jesus down, or uncovering him, or “finding him” and thinking, “whew! I’ve got my ticket punched!”  Rather it’s a matter of seeing him already there.  It’s taking a moment and realizing that Jesus is present with us.  It’s realizing that God comes to us in the most unexpected of ways – in a humble manager, in a poor peasant man who hangs out with the outcast, on a shameful cross…  In the 21st century, God is still searching us out and speaking to us in a myriad of ways we might even find unorthodox – through a piece of rock music, through modern art, through popular films…

Jesus comes to us and says “here I am” and invites us to follow him, getting involved in the work God is doing in the world.  What an incredible invitation!

I don’t think it’s about us finding Jesus and then magically having all the answers.  Rather, I think it’s about God continually coming to us in surprising and unexpected ways, catching us off guard, challenging us, and moving us to a broader understanding of who God is and how wide God’s love is.

Can we let ourselves be surprised by Jesus?  Can we let ourselves be found by Jesus?

© 2011. Annabelle Peake Markey. All rights reserved.

“The More You Know…”

The more I know of You,
The more I realize how much I fall short.
And the more I know of Your justice,
The more I realize my guilt before You.

But the more I know of You,
The more You teach me of Your love.
And the more I am aware of Your mercy,
The more I know of Your steadfast faithfulness.

Yes, the more I know of You,
The more I know how bountiful Your grace is.
And the more I rest in Your hands,
The more I long to rely solely on You.

© 2011. Annabelle Peake Markey. All rights reserved.

Song of a Modern Day Martha

Jesus Visits Mary and Martha

“Come, sit with me a while.”
“No, I have to call this company to straighten things out.”
“Come, sit with me a while.”
“No, I have to finish the laundry and clean the house.”
“Come, sit with me a while.”
“No, I have to plan the rest of my day.”
“Come, sit with me a while.”

“Come, sit with me a while.”
“Lord, why did that phone call frustrate me so much?”
“Come, sit with me a while.”
“Lord, why didn’t I get the laundry and cleaning done?”
“Come, sit with me a while.”
“Lord, I feel like I have so much to do!”
“Come, sit with me a while.”

Worn and tired at the end of the day, carrying so much frustration, stress, and crankiness, I wondered what on earth had happened to put me in such a state. Then I realized. God had been calling gently and persistently to me all day – “Come, sit with me a while.” And what did I do? Everything on my “to-do” list – well, at least, I tried to.

Reflecting on this in quiet prayer and contemplation, again I heard God speak: “Come, sit with me a while. I’m glad you’re here.” Once I sat down, read some Scripture and entered into conversation with God, I felt so much better. I was able to examine what had happened during the day and I slowly realized that I had been ignoring God.

If I had just taken the time to pray and read like I wanted to – like God was inviting me to – I would have been refreshed and recharged. My priorities would have looked much different and I probably wouldn’t have gotten so bent out of shape about a frustrating phone call or unfinished tasks.

In silence, listening for God, I heard once again, “let go and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). “Stop worrying so much about relatively trivial things and rest in my arms.” All day long, God had been trying to get my attention – to care for me so I could go out renewed and strengthened, but I resisted, wishing instead to go my own way. Boy, am I a slow learner! In silence, I realized that I knew God was calling – I recognized God’s voice (John 10:1-10 – see below) and still I ignored it.

Now, it would be really easy to beat ourselves up once we realize what we’ve been doing and how we’ve been neglecting to spend time with God. However, God does not want us to do that. Instead, God extends to us unfathomable grace, that grace which gently and persistently seeks us out and enfolds us in the overwhelming depth of God’s love, forgiveness, faithfulness and mercy. That remarkable and beautiful grace is a gift, given freely and generously to all through Jesus’ death and resurrection. We need only to stop for a moment, to pause ever so slightly, and spend some time listening for and to what God has to say to us. Rest in that grace and know that you are loved.

© 2011. Annabelle Peake. All rights reserved.

John 10:1-10
Very truly, I tell you, anyone who does not enter the sheepfold by the gate but climbs in by another way is a thief and a bandit. 2The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. 3The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep hear his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4When he has brought out all his own, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow him because they know his voice. 5They will not follow a stranger, but they will run from him because they do not know the voice of strangers.” 6Jesus used this figure of speech with them, but they did not understand what he was saying to them.
7So again Jesus said to them, “Very truly, I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. 8All who came before me are thieves and bandits; but the sheep did not listen to them. 9I am the gate. Whoever enters by me will be saved, and will come in and go out and find pasture. 10The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.